Stand in the Rain
by Lady Eleanor Boleyn
Summary: Bellatrix is tortured, after the failed Ministry mission. Songfic to Stand In The Rain.


**She never slows down  
She doesn't know why but  
she knows that when  
She's all alone feels  
Like it's all coming down**

Bellatrix Lestrange _nee _Black watched the duel between her master and Dumbledore, transfixed. Not so much by fear, but by pure admiration. There was no doubt in her mind that her master would win. He was the best duellist since the days of Merlin and Nimeuh. No one could match him, especially not a doddery old fool like Dumbledore, or "Mumblebore" as she and her circle had christened their headmaster in their Hogwarts days.

Though Dumbledore was doing better than she'd expected, she had to give him that…Bellatrix had to suppress a gasp as a fiery coil of magic flew out of the end of the elderly wizard's wand and wrapped itself around her master.

Her hand tightened around the slender piece of walnut wood subconsciously and she prepared to dash out and duel her old headmaster in the Dark Lord's stead, but the next second, to her delight, there was no need.

The Dark Lord threw off the coils and transfigured them into the Slytherin Emblem, sending them flying back to their creator with a triumphant half- smile. Bella couldn't help herself. She laughed aloud.

For one moment, one glorious moment, the Dark Lord twisted and almost caught her eye, a rare smile, one Bella liked to think of as _her_ smile, quirking his lips. Then he rose into the air and flew across the room to land on the plinth above Dumbledore's head.

But then it all started to go wrong. Dumbledore turned her master's position against him, sending him flying back into the fountain with a great splash. At the same time, new opponents appeared on the scene.

Suddenly, Bellatrix felt arms slip around her. Stifling a scream, she tried to struggle, but to no avail. A silky voice murmured in her ear.

"Too late, my Bella. Too late. You're getting sloppy."

The murmur sent shivers down Bella's back – shivers of shame mixed with anticipated pleasure.

Then, suddenly they were running; running as fast as only they could. Bella dogged the Dark Lord's heels as she had done in former times, her hair streaming out behind her. Just like the old days.

"_It's a good thing Cissy isn't here."_ The thought flashed through her mind, followed by another. _"She'd panic. And then so would I."_ Shaking her head, Bella pushed the thought aside in favour of other, more pleasant ones. What did it matter what would have happened? Cissy **wasn't** here and she was. She was with her Lord. Her only Lord.

Shock, panic, even terror, could come later. When she was alone. When no one else could witness her fear. For now, her master needed her beside him and there was nowhere else she would rather be.

**She won't turn around  
The shadows are long  
And she fears if she cries  
That first tear  
The tears will not stop  
Raining down**

"Turn around, Bella. Turn around." Her master's voice was quiet, but hard. Harder than it usually was. Bella knew what that meant. Knew what was coming. Nevertheless, she tried to avert it, throwing herself to her knees and begging for his mercy.

"No! Master, please….I tried…I tried! Merlin knows I tried! It was Lucius! Lucius! He's weak! Weak! He's an eye servant! That's all he is! Family means more to him than the Cause! Our Cause! But _I_…I will give you everything I have and more! Everything! I swear! Please!"

"Quiet." Her master silenced her instantly, speaking the single word with quiet authority. He bent and reached down, caressing her cheek. Despite herself, Bella almost pressed herself into his hand, pleading with him to understand; to take her, then and there, as she was.

"Blaming others is weak, Bella. You know that, don't you?"

It was a rhetorical question, really. Of course Bella knew that. Her master had proved it time and time again. Still, desperate to appease him, she nodded frantically.

"Yes, My Lord."

"And you know what happens to those who show weakness, don't you?"

Again, Bella nodded. She answered in an almost soundless whisper. "They must be punished."

"Indeed. They must be punished. So stand up. Stand up."

Bella did so, keeping her eyes low. Her master preferred silent respect over open displays of devotion.

"Turn around. Turn around. Do not look around again. And do not utter a sound."

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain**

The pain. Oh, Merlin, the pain. Bella had inflicted – and suffered - countless Cruciatus Curses in her days as one of the most feared Death Eaters, but that was fourteen years ago. Before her sojourn in Azkaban. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Like a horde of goblins pressing into her skin with red hot pokers and holding them there, but without her building up resistance to it.

There was a distant 'thud' and Bella realised she had fallen to the floor, though she couldn't actually feel the usual soreness that came with doing such a thing.

But that was hardly the worst of her problems. She gritted her teeth to keep from crying out as the pain dragged on…and on…without any sign of letting up. She wouldn't cry out. She just wouldn't.

**You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**

It was at times like this that Bella almost hated her Lord. Hated him for what he made her do. Hated him from turning her from a proud Black heiress who answered to no man, to this: a weak woman who served her master with nothing but an almost slavish devotion. Hated him for what he was putting her through. But she never complained; never defied him for it. Not once. Because, at some point, he would forgive her. He would hold out his hand to her and help her from the floor. Smile at her. Call her his Bellatrix, his female warrior, his Bella.

And though it seemed almost impossible then, in the midst of all her pain, Bella knew that, when he did, she would forgive him and take his hand. Because she had to. To hate her master would be to deny her Cause. And that she could never do. For to deny her Cause would be tantamount to denying her heart its greatest pleasure. After all, if she denied her Cause, she would have to flee the country; flee away from the only man who had ever bewitched her and made her _want _to follow him. She would have to flee her very own Dark Lord. And that she would never be able to bear.

**She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself  
And the fears whispering  
If she stands, she'll fall down**

As always, the voices started, teasing her, taunting her with what might have been.

"_What if you hadn't been so infatuated with the Dark Lord? You might have seen Meda pulling away from you; from the family. You might have stopped her. You might still be sisters."_

"_What kind of example are you setting for Cissy? You try to be so strong; to pretend there is nothing you can't do, but here you are, after yet another failed mission, suffering the Dark Lord's torture. Thwarted by a boy no older than her Draco. In fact, younger. Is it any wonder she's beginning to doubt her elder sister?"_

"No! She does not doubt me! Cissy would never doubt me!" Bella screamed, silently, her lips pressed together to prevent a single sound escaping.

"_Oh, but she does. You know she does. Don't deny it, Bellatrix. You can see it in her eyes when she looks at you; in her hesitation whenever you try to show her kindness, to prove to her that you will win, make this world a world worthy of her, of her son. You're not her beloved Bella any more, and she's not your naïve little sister any more. She's not Baby Cissy now; she's a grown woman and you can't keep the things you used to keep from her from her. Not any more."_

**She wants to be found  
The only way out is through  
everything she's running from  
Wants to give up and lie down  
**

It was in these moments that Bella almost longed to have had the courage to run away, to swallow her pride and marry a half-blood for love. Like Andromeda had done. Maybe then she'd still be in contact with her other sister. Maybe then, it wouldn't feel like there was such a gaping hole inside her all the time, one Cissy could never fill, no matter how hard she tried.

But to do that, she'd have had to give up everything she knew. Everything. Her status; the reluctant pride she took in having everyone watch her, just because she was a Black, even the love of her parents and her aunt and uncle – the four people she had spent all her life trying to impress; longing to gain their approval. She couldn't have done that.

Not having her little sister available to flee to when it all got too much; not having Andromeda around to stroke her hair and whisper loving reassurances; never hearing her call her "Trixa" - the nickname she always pretended she hated but secretly loved; all of that was but a tiny price to pay for everything she had gained, wasn't it? After all, she had got to meet her Lord; the one she loved heart and soul.

It was a fair trade, wasn't it? Even if he didn't love her in return?

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**

"Stop it!" Bella ordered herself. "What's done is done and cannot be undone!"

At the same moment, she felt the pain cease as her master at last lifted the Curse. Half cautiously, she opened her eyes to see him bending over her.

"Well, Bella. I think that ought to teach you. Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes, My Lord." Bella could barely speak with the effort of holding back a belated scream of terrified pain.

"Good. Come. Rise. You are indeed strong. You did not utter a sound. I know many more who would have failed in that charge, but you did not. Because you are my Bellatrix; my female warrior."

With that, the Dark Lord held out his hand to her, half smiling. As she had known she would, Bella took it eagerly and sprang up, forgetting her pain as her master showed his approval of her. In that second, she knew why she wasn't trying to find Andromeda; why she didn't run away like her. Because she had her Lord and that was all she needed.**  
**

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found**

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**


End file.
